Poshdeluxe

paris. i went to paris. and it feels like a dream.

but i was really there! see:

i
really believe that this picture says it all. i though about just
posting it and not writing anything else… cos what more is there to
say? i mean, when you look at this photo, can’t you just… feel it?

but
if i don’t write more, i think i’ll burst. there will be a sarah
explosion and it probably won’t be pretty. plus it would ruin my plaid
pants.

i’ll hopefully be posting some photos tonight when i get home from work, but for now you can view some pieces of magic on amber’s xanga.

so… paris. it was incredible. it was joyous. it was heart-wrenching. it was the happiest i’ve felt for a very, very long time.

first,
a million billon eProps to amber, the hostess with the mostest. i hope
she knows how much it meant to me that she put so much effort and
thought and love into crafting the most perfect trip of all time.

exhibit
a: on my first night, she planned a super secret event and would NOT
spill the beans even when i begged. so, suddenly i find myself standing
in front of the olympia theatre to see feist (a fantastic female
musician who used to be in broken social scene). i’m sure you can
picture my face and the high pitched shrieking noises that i made.
because of amber’s fabulousness, my first night in paris included a
jam-packed concert with incredible music followed by drinks and food at
a totally cool, totally “paris” cafe with her friend paul. basically,
one of those “pinch me” moments that extended into several hours.

exhibit
b: on sunday, i’m enjoying my moroccan brunch (hello delicious) when
amber hands me a card. i open it and find out that she and i will be
having our very own oscar’s party in a hotel room!! that’s right, she
rented a room just so we could watch the oscar’s in the middle of the
night (it was on a premium channel, like french hbo or
something).� so we show up at the hotel around 12:30 AM armed with
champagne, junk food and silver sequined scarves (cos you can’t watch
the oscars without feeling posh). in a sudden twist, several of her
friends decided to book their own room at the hotel, so we all
descended onto the street to find some food (amber and i just needed
coffee).

DID I MENTION THAT I WAS IN PARIS DURING THE COLDEST WEEK IN 35 YEARS?!!!

needless
to say, i could no longer feel my face as we wandered aimlessly down
the street. nothing was open. nothing. i began to actually miss the
states (and that is sad). one of amber’s friends realized that there
was a mcdonald’s nearby, which made me gasp in HORROR. first of all, i
hate mcdonald’s. and then to go there, in PARIS?!!! it’s like the
eighth deadly sin. you go straight to the pit of hell for that one.

but
i was freezing my ass off. and suddenly everyone was running, SPRINTING
through the streets of paris in the dead of night. it’s an image, a
feeling, i’ll remember for the rest of my life– an incredible mixture
of ridiculousness and liberation.

so we went to mcdonald’s. i
felt so ashamed. i still do. i can’t believe i’m writing about it. but
it’s too funny not to share. when i post pictures, you’ll get to see
everyone with their mcdonald’s bags. priceless.

afterwards,
amber and i returned to our room. we turned on the tv, and i began
writing postcards. suddenly i look up and the screen has gone into snow
white mode. amber: “oops”. so the hotel manager guy comes up and amber
says, “it was like this when we got here”. yeah, she is a good liar.
even in french. so we got moved to another room. ha ha ha. did i
mention that the theme of our week was “SCANDALOUS!!”? we didn’t
necessarily intend to select this theme, it just sort of happened, so
that we were always whispering (or yelling) “SCANDALOUS!” in sassy
voices.�

so yeah, this situation definitely fits in that
category. can you picture two american girls in silver sequin scarves
lugging plastic bags of food and champagne between hotel rooms at 2 AM?
or checking out of the hotel at 5:45 AM? talk about tawdry!! or waiting
for the metro with the honest working citizens of paris (ok, well, to
tell you the truth, there weren’t that many people on the metro at 6
AM… yeah, my kind of city!).

scandalous!

exhibit c:
amber planned a posh night out for us on saturday. we met up with some
of her friends at a totally HIP restaurant whose name means something
like “the smoking room”. let me just say that i fell in LOVE with the
paris pace of life in this one night. our meal lasted for about three
and a half hours… we savored *everything*. every bite of food, every
line in conversation… i felt like time stopped, like i had been
swallowed up in the moment, and there was nothing else. this is the way
life was meant to be lived.

after dinner, we were supposed to go
to a club but certain people (ahem, amber) were too tired (it was
really ok). so instead amber and i went to a little bar in her
neighborhood. it’s tucked away on a side street and doesn’t appear to
have a name (don’t you know those are the best kind!). we sat under red
lights and gold curtains and just talked. even though we had stayed up
for the past two nights talking, we still had more to say. much, much
more. i looked at her across the table and thought, “i am so blessed.
this city, this friendship, this life… it’s incredible”.

then this weird but not too creepy french guy started hitting on us. the
best part was when he returned for round two with a vase of fake
flowers that he had stolen from some other part of the bar. he made
sure to clarify that they were in fact fake. then the bar owner, this
totally awesome older french woman, came by and swiped the flowers,
saying something like, “quit messing around with the decorations!”. it
was so classic.

exhibit d: amber also took me to montmarte, which you may (or may not) know is AMELIE’S NEIGHBORHOOD!!!! aieee!!! i felt like a three year old, especially when we had espresso at the
counter of the cafe where AMELIE WORKS.

you: sarah, it was just a movie. amelie doesn’t really work there.
me: yeah, i know… but… but she DID, for a little while.

the idea that i had suddenly entered the magical, whimsical world of amelie seemed… i dunno, it made anything seem possible. it really did.

and honestly, more than “scandalous”, that was the theme of my trip. anything is possible. i’ve always put limits on myself, on what i can see myself doing, and i don’t know why. i’ll look at amber or olivia and think: wow, that’s so cool that they’re following their dreams. but i could never do that. this trip made me ask: why not?

so i’ve got a lot to think about. i’ve asked amber to remind me that i truly believed in the possibilities of dreams while i was in paris. i’m worried that the reality of my ordinary life will make me forget.

see, i’m good at finding wonder in the small things, but it’s the big things, the risks, the choices, that i always manage to ignore… i look the other way and keep on going.

i don’t want to do that anymore. and honestly, i don’t think i can. paris brought me face to face with the dazzling light of possibility and the terrible darkness of my fears. i have no choice but to face it, head on.

and i’ve decided i’m going back to paris. in six months. and i’m telling you so that you can remind me that this, too, is possible.