Poshdeluxe

here’s a little hilary update. thanks for all of yr prayers– things
are better now. i’m just so relieved… i don’t want to jinx everything
but i feel like hilary has truly reached a turning point. not to say
that the road to healing will be easy, not to say that she won’t
falter, but i think, i hope, i pray, that her heart has been opened and
a seed of hope has been planted.

overall, the hospital program has been VERY GOOD for her. when she
leaves on saturday, she’ll be set up with a psychiatrist (to check her
meds every once in a while) and a counselor that she will see once a
week. hilary has never had both of these things at the same time for a
consistent period, and i believe this plan will make a world of
difference. she’s also learned a lot about coping mechanisms, relapse
prevention and tools for self-affirmation– and i think she feels good
about pursuing all of these methods. even better (and this is when the
word “miracle” starts floating in my head), her boss, meg, called me
yesterday (hilary had given her my number in a voicemail), and we had a
WONDERFUL conversation. i had tears in my eyes when it was over because
i just couldn’t believe what a blessing hilary’s office has
surprisingly turned out to be. meg told me to tell hilary not to worry,
she had pushed back all deadlines and only cared about hilary getting
better. she didn’t tell anyone else in the office why hilary was gone
(just said she was really sick)… and… get this… meg told me that
she had gone through something very similar (!!) and hilary should have
no shame, she shouldn’t feel like meg would look at her negatively,
etc. she also said that everyone in the office loved hilary, and she
was doing a fabulous job. the latter was especially good to hear, b/c
i’ve always sensed that hilary was not doing as poorly as she thought
(she’s always been her own toughest critic, and her anxiety about her
job had reached hysterical– and not in the funny way– proportions ).
not only was i delighted to hear meg say these things, i was also
extremely happy to pass them on to hilary and watch her shoulders relax
and her face loosen up and her eyes release their anxiety. finally,
here was proof that 1) she won’t get fired because of this 2) she’s
been doing a good job in spite of what she thinks 3) the deadlines are
nothing to worry about 4) she can approach meg with a bit more
confidence (thus far she has been intimidated). needless to say, this
phone call alone is cause for celebration.

so anyway, i’m tired and relieved and very proud of hilary for going
through this program and making the effort to just TRY. it’s important
that we, as her friends, continue to love and support her– show her
that she’s not alone. thanks so much for yr thoughts and prayers and
the phone calls that i got– yr support helped me (and seth, who has
been so awesome to hilary AND me throughout this whole ordeal) more
than you will know.

thank you god!!!