Poshdeluxe

… the job search drags on. eh. i’m trying to trust the idea that god will provide.� in fact, i’m sure i’ll look back, after i get a job and everything turns out ok, and scold myself for losing faith. but, doubt always seems to disappear in hindsight, doesn’t it?

things could *always* be worse, i tell myself. i mean, i’ve got a great apartment lined up, my parents and seth have helped me pack up a huge amount of stuff, and austin is�a fabulous town.

and, after watching “swimfan” with hilary last week, i realized that at LEAST i don’t have a freaky stalker trying to ruin my life and kill my loved ones. i mean, then my life would *really* suck. and i’d miss my chance to get a swimming scholarship to stanford. damn.

btw, hilary and i have decided that we will now refer to bad, destructive things as “swimfans”. ex: “ugh! today was such a SWIMFAN!” or “dude, i’ve got a total swimfan hangover.” feel free to add this new term to yr hipster vocab.

searching for jobs also forces you to wrestle with yr pride. and i can always stand to lose more pride, so this is a good (if painful) thing. i like this quote from j.d. salinger:

“Just because I’m so horribly conditioned to accept everybody else’s values, and just because I like applause and people to rave about me, doesn’t make it right. I’m ashamed of it. I’m sick of it. I’m sick of not having the courage to be an absolute nobody.”

it’s true. i like applause. i like people raving about me. and i’m sick of it.

austin employers, let it be known:�poshdeluxe is desperate for a job and will�work hard for the money… so you better treat�her right (sing with me!).�