Poshdeluxe

today has yet to fully click into place (although at the moment i’m trying to remember if the majority of my days do, in fact, “click”).

i had a wonderful, fabulous time in austin, and it was ever so hard to come back to houston and my office. eh. although i am glad to get back to jazzercult, since austin featured visits to kerbey lane, trudy’s AND star seeds. umph (the sarah blimp sound).

last nite at mosaic, a “sister church” to mine, ecclesia, and also the church where seth w. does the music, don (one of the pastors) talked about psalms of disorientation, i.e. people crying out to god in anger or pain or confusion. it was a really challenging message…i have the feeling that it will slowly cycle through my brain all week. to tell you the truth, i hope remnants of it stay in my mind forever.

don talked about how, if you grew up in the church, you probably didn’t learn much about these psalms of disorientation… you learned how to base yr life on the idea of orientation, so if something went wrong or life really sucked, you just told yrself that you were looking at it from the wrong angle, and that “everything happens for a reason”.

when, in reality, a church (any kind) needs to be a place for the DISorientated. people who have had shitty things happen to them, people faced with tragedy or years of frustration. and these people need to know that they *can* question god, they can cry out and yell and scream and demand that things be different.

don mentioned an example: when parents lose a child. and people say, “well, it’s just god’s will.”

to which don replied, “bullshit.”

there isn’t a REASON for everything. there just, isn’t. and when things suck, it’s ok to get fed up or to cry your eyes out and groan about it to god, because he hears us. and he knows just how bad it is.

this message is playing through my head as i walk into the office this morning and find out that nick reinhart, a guy i knew at rice, was killed in a car accident last nite, driving from austin to houston.

which is exactly what i did, last nite.

and it’s just terribly, terribly sad.