a day in his pants: the posh deluxe interview with steve benham

Published by
Sarah
July 18, 2008 in day in the pants. 2 Comments

while friday interviews are always a treat, today’s “in the pants” is even MORE deluxe than usual.

how, you may ask, is that possible?!

well, because i like to answer questions i have inferred from the audience, i’ll tell you!

for today’s interview, i’ve enlisted the intrepid reporting skills of one of my favorite rice folks, olivia, aka miss world traveler pants, in order to introduce you to another favorite owl of mine, stephen benham.

i know, i know, it’s gonna be great!!!!

but before i hand the reins over to the highly capable and lovely olivia, i want to give you a (brief) rundown of my friendship with steve.

this picture, taken at winston’s wedding, totally explains the charm of our friendship: me being hokey, steve putting up with me while pretending that he doesn’t have the biggest heart in the universe.

it’s obvious that steve and i were meant to be friends, simply because destiny threw us into the same freshman orientation group (along with a certain mr. joshua katz). my first impression of steve was that he was huge, and he sweated more than anyone i’d ever met in my life (sorry, steve, but you know it’s true). i chalked the latter up to the fact that his body was used to the minnesota winters and not, unfortunately for his shirt, acclimated to the scorching texas summer.

steve was, and still is, an extremely intelligent guy with a rare, charming mix of dry wit and the inclination towards ridiculously boisterous carousing. he’s the kind of person you can talk to about *anything*– the politics of south america, german culture, how his pursuit of girls compares to the patterns of desert animals. during our freshman year, steve would come to my room and listen to my conversations with amber, then psychoanalyze us both. i also had the unique pleasure of getting to know him via ballroom dance, which we both took for a PE credit. the key to a good dancing partner, in my opinion, isn’t about the swiftness of their feet but rather, the grace of their conversation. in other words, i loved dancing with steve.

there’s a lot more i could say, but it’s time for olivia’s entrance. and so, i will leave you with a link to steve’s blog, where you can learn even more about why i love this fantastic specimen of a human being and miss him terribly (he lives in germany, fyi).

take it away, olivia!

* * *

Twas the early days of blogging. I met Steve online, indirectly through Sarah. Namely, Sarah urged me repeatedly to blog, basically every week in our half-price-cake meetups, and I finally acquiesced in summer 2003. And then I was suddenly party to this whole group of amazing people and writers. Steve and I started emailing about Romania, and I immediately enjoyed our exchanges. How could I not, when he had such sympathetic and well-written answers and responses to my post-graduation funk, when I was wondering how Rice had let me out with such a limited amount of knowledge? He wrote: “At that point however, there was just this terrible disappointing nostalgia, knowing that it was over and wondering what the hell it was all about.” And so our friendship was born. We emailed all summer, but really started to talk a bit more when I started my research/fellowship in Central Asia. I would be at some random journalist organization in Kazakhstan, etc., and he would be an insomniac in New York. It worked out well. We’ve had some pretty intense and amazing conversations, ranging from life abroad to love to politics (those conversations can end up in arguments) to family, and I’ve always really valued this. Steve is one of the most amazing friends I’ve ever had, mixing openness and compassion and hilarity and intelligence flawlessly. Winston sings his praises as well in his interview.

Since then we’ve talked across numerous time zones on the internet, once or twice on the phone, and even in real life, and Steve’s become one of my best friends, although we didn’t actually meet until I moved to DC in the fall of 2005. We hung out lots in DC, but haven’t seen each other since I moved away, although we are planning to meet up soon. Anyway, on to the questions. To best simulate our usual talking style, Sarah’s allowed/encouraged us to hold this interview by chat. Steve’s joining from Germany.

[now we're live]

Steve: Hi Olivia. This would be more exciting if you were in the United States.

Olivia: Why is that?

Steve: Well we are only one hour apart, same continent technically, only a two hour flight. Besides, we used to do this stuff via a NYC/Kyrgyzstan connection. It feels a bit cheap don’t you think?

Olivia: Yes definitely. I think it is best if it’s at least 5 hours. But at least you are staying up appropriately late.

Steve: True, but given the obvious massive time differences and the trans-Atlantic logistics involved, Sarah had to turn to her champion interviewer and brought you aboard.

Olivia: It’s almost the middle of the night, just like old times.

Steve: Old times, yes, we spent many nights together didn’t we … virtual nights I mean, and not of virtual nights one might have with some women in Eastern Europe. Though speaking of Eastern Europe, Sarah did introduce me to you because I was living in Romania and you were in the US, but I guess it wasn’t until we switched hemispheres until we really started talking.

Olivia: Which brings me to my first question: Steve, I’m really happy you never sleep because it means I can talk to you. But really: why don’t you ever sleep?

Steve: Well, I do sleep, as demonstrated this morning when I overslept. The police arrested some crazy screaming man outside my balcony at six am which woke me up, so after a quick shower I decided to get a bit more of the sweet shut-eye. Next thing you know, its 10:34 and the blackberry is full of messages.

Olivia: Back in the day though, you were always online when I was up and even now I see you manning the google or AIM chat at strange hours for Germany.

Steve: True. I guess I don’t sleep when most people do, which became abundantly clear to me when I was assigned to live with a certain other interviewee of this blog my freshman year who was most definitely a diurnal type. Then I finally admitted my inability to conform to conventional circadian rhythms.

Olivia: Ooh, alliteration.

Steve: Exactly. In high school I tried to get a job at this Mobil station to work the third shift. Unfortunately the Medina Mobil wasn’t having me. Nor was the Subway sandwich shop right next door for that matter. But I did end up working nights at a warehouse for three summers and during Christmas before and during college. Excellent job.

Olivia: So is that what makes you a good lawyer?

Steve: The warehouse? No. Really, the Mobil station was just because it seemed cool and well the Subway, I think I screwed up the easy math answers on the back of the application. Couldn’t figure out the change for a twenty when the hypothetical customer ordered a six-inch cold cut with double meat. Maybe that’s a good thing, otherwise I could be a sandwich artist today.

Olivia: The not sleeping.

Steve: Ah, it makes me a lawyer who can work when others are asleep. Sometimes that is all you need. (low bar)

Olivia: Okay, but can you tell us a bit about your job? (I know you, like most of us, can’t talk much about work on the internets, but some little morsels of info are fine…)

Steve: I work in Frankfurt at a law firm. Law firms are their own bizarre subculture with blogs and rumors and knowing glances among those of us that went to law school. In a nutshell, I am a corporate lawyer, specializing in things like capital markets, finance and some m&a. In other words … the kind that can’t help my family members.

Olivia: But it’s interesting, right?

Steve: Interesting enough. I mean, I find it bores most people who aren’t lawyers and really people that aren’t corporate lawyers or otherwise involved in some sort of finance banking role. It bores me at times, but I have learned a ton and I am challenged on almost a daily basis, occasionally far beyond where my comfort zone lies.

Olivia: Okay, enough of that (jk): So how did you end up in Germany?

Steve: A complicated question that I have to answer all the time over here. This time, well, our German practice was desperate for people, I spoke the language and it came at the perfect instant where nothing was necessarily keeping me in DC at the time. I mean, I didn’t even do the kind of law that I do now.

steve and friends in copenhagen, october 2004.

Olivia: But you speak the language and have spent a lot of time there. What made you do that?

Steve: Really serendipity I guess. I picked it in seventh grade under the impression that I had some meager German ancestry like pretty much every white person in the US. In hindsight I should have picked Spanish, much more useful than German and my Januarys could be in Buenos Aires or Barcelona, slightly more awesome than Frankfurt. But seventh grade turned into eighth, into high school, then at Rice I had some time and I was like, well, might as well perfect this one than jump ship, which in the end was a good decision.

Olivia: And how did you end up deciding to go?

Steve: Well, I wanted to study abroad and thought anywhere that spoke English was a cop out. I wanted a big city and next thing you know I found myself in Berlin in ’99 where I could barely utter a word of German after I hit the ground. But a year later I had realized it was the best year of my life and kept going back.

Olivia: Berlin is a cool city, I hear.

Steve: Yes, and well it was 1999 and it was back before it was the coolest city ever, which by proxy makes me hip … oh wait, I’m a corporate lawyer. No, it is unbelievable. I still tell everyone to go, to see as much as they can, and soak it all in.

steve and fellow wiessman, hilary, in berlin, 1999.

Olivia: Why was it the best year of your life?

Steve: Well, 20 years old is often one of the best years of your life. And 24 was a pretty great year as was 17. So there are a lot of great years.

Olivia: But now you’re, what? 29?

Steve: Exactly and in Frankfurt, not exactly Berlin in 1999, but it has its charms. It gets maligned by some, and well, it is a city designed for bankers, lawyers and accountants. It is possibly the most convenient city in Germany, and well, also very easy to leave if you need to. Like to Manchester!

Olivia: Ha. Okay. So I know your family is important to you. Tell me about that. You’ve got a mom and dad and 2 brothers. Tell me something funny or inspiring about them.

Steve: My brothers are 28 and 27, and we are a year and 3 days and a year and 27 days apart. So there is very little time that I can imagine not having them around. We fought a lot, but we were three boys who all wrestled, so such things were expected, but you know, we always used to team up to be a fighting force in the neighborhood if any one of us was threatened. Very inspiring.

the benham men, looking totes adorable.

Olivia: And something funny?

Steve: funny … well, there is my dad. And well, I love the guy, but as old men are wont to do, he is slowly turning into crazy old man.

Olivia: Yes! I love this part. Tell us more.

Steve: Well, my dad has retired and he is wired into the markets and the internet, watching CNBC, bloomberg and the like. And well, he talks about the collapse of the capital markets as we know it, downfall of western civilization, all while shooting off on average, two to three angry emails a day, be it to the White House, senators, federal agencies, tv stations. He used to cc me on them, but after I asked not to be put on his watch list, he just sends them to me after the fact.

Olivia: Do you have any examples of his work, or is that too personal?

Steve: Ah, well from a pure literary perspective, my favorite quote was an early one he wrote to Mitch McConnell.

“Today’s vote is one of those rare occurrences where patriotic principle dovetails with political common sense. It’s really a no-brainer! I implore you not to vote with the craven, anti-patriotic, greed-driven forces and the lamest of lame duck Presidents. If you do not heed my humble advice, I predict you will live to regret it. Even if you can swim, I believe you will go down along with the hopelessly sinking ship known as the Bush Presidency.”

Olivia: Truly dramatic.

Steve: They are getting a little more absurdist lately, and I think he has inspired his brother to do the same. But he enjoys it, and I tell him to back away from the computer once in a while, so what can you do. Sometimes I’m afraid I am heading there, you know, to crazy old man land.

Olivia: Isn’t that what we all hope for?

Steve: Ha, not completely sure, but you know, he is a pretty awesome dad, and frankly will do anything for us, including driving to North Carolina at the drop of a hat to pick up my marine brother if he gets even 72 hours of leave and then drive him back at the end which is incredible when you think about it.

Olivia: But it’s because he loves you, and that time is important to him. And your mom? I know you really look up to her.

Steve: I look down on them all as the tallest on all sides of the family, but she is pretty great too and as non-judgmental in comparison to my old man. I feel bad she had to raise three boys and really a fourth when you count my dad. By the way, interviews are strange beasts, you catch someone at the right moment, you never know what will come out.

look how tiny steve’s mom is!!!!

Olivia: Yeah, but that’s good

Steve: True, but not often fair. But I guess I’m not cutting off anyone’s nuts here.

Olivia: Ah, yes, an Obama fan. So, you travel more than I do, and I think you’ve got more countries than I have. Right?

Steve: Ha, doubtful. A certain person, who we will call Jen Bohnson, and I have a contest about our passport stamps and we try to get more “exotic” or “exciting” countries. We talk a lot of trash and have kind of decided the first person to Antartica wins. But the sad thing is Jen’s mom reads your blog and thinks that you have us both beat. It is humbling to try to compare travel stories with you.

Olivia: Ha, but I think it’s not true.

jen and steve on one of their many exotic, totally international adventures.

Steve: no, you have been to um … war zones. I’ve been to … Scandinavia! Exotic!

Olivia: Europe’s got a lot of small countries, though, and I haven’t been to, like, Paris.

Steve: Eh you can get Paris when you are old. Same with Stockholm.

Olivia: What’s your favorite city?

Steve: Other than Berlin, probably Cape Town [ed. note: check out Steve's blog about it]. Just heartbreaking beauty and terrible contrast combined with a wonderful people and great food. Oh, and the beach and incredible vistas and nature right near by. I want to go back, but I fear for South Africa these days. We will see what happens by 2010, but you had to be careful. The violence and how pervasive it was in South Africa was truly stunning. I just hope they can pull off the world cup. The truth is, FIFA is already out lining up alternates, which everyone always does, but rarely as publicly.

Olivia: So. Introduce us to Esteban. Can you explain to me – and more importantly the readers – who Esteban is? You knew this question was coming.

Steve: Ah, Esteban. Esteban was conceived back in the summer of 2003 when I lived in Bucharest [ed note: you can read more about the conception of esteban here]. One of my friends there thought my idea of a blog was mildly ridiculous, along with the picture that I posted on it. It was, I won’t deny that, but that was the conception, because well, a blog is exactly what Esteban would do.

Olivia: What else would Esteban do?

Steve: Well, Esteban is a combination of characteristics and attitudes of Americans who are abroad. My friend Jeremy and I discussed at length a this theoretical person, finding several characteristics, usually he is one of those American study-abroad types, who likely went to a smaller liberal arts college, he probably plays soccer or perhaps lacrosse and the guitar, fancies himself an intellectual and is almost always morally superior, can’t help but to constantly criticize the United States when abroad, could very well have a goatee, the type that travels all the time and is very much in danger of become the guy who is in the youth hostel when he probably shouldn’t be anymore, but also doesn’t want to get a real job to be able to pay for anything more upscale. Esteban dates women from other countries and often feels that he is getting a more authentic experience because of it, generally grew up in a very upper middle class to upper class home (think Westchester, Massapequa, Glen Ridge in NYC, McLain or much of Montgomery County in DC), believes he alone is blessed with a special insight, one that allows him to keenly observe and comment on cultures and peoples with a modicum of exposure, and he also thinks that he is going native, eschewing contact with other Americans and tourists, or at least eyeing them with distrust while assuming that there is something superior to his presence.

Olivia: I think that is a pretty good list of characteristics. Why the name Esteban?

Steve: oh, I could go on. The name is actually yet another trait of a classic Esteban. He is the type that never introduces himself by his American name, rather choosing the local translation instead. It’s not, Hi, I’m Stephen. Oh no … it is hola, yo soy Esteban, ich bin Stefan, il mio nome è Stefano or mon nom est Etienne. In other words, a total douchebag.

Olivia: Ha. I may have met an Esteban or two. Do you think you have ever been an Esteban?

Steve: I am sure you have, more likely dozens. We all have and you probably could name a few right now, but it is important also to remember, we all have a little Esteban in us. I know I do, and I have to remember to keep my inner Esteban in check, while embracing the things that makes living abroad and travel so wonderful.

i don’t actually know what inner part of himself steve was embracing in this photo.

Olivia: Excellent segue into my next question. Do you miss the US and do you want to go back?

Steve: I definitely do and I see myself getting back one of these days. A friend of mine Roger told me that I need to avoid becoming one of those old single guys who just ends up living abroad and starts to kind of well, go Esteban one might say. Right now I am on an extended assignment and will have the option to return in a year or two, and we will see what I feel like then. I took this job back in the day because I knew this would be an opportunity and then when it arose, and I was 27, I just started to think, well, it is not going to get any easier. It meant leaving family, friends who are hitting the lifetime milestone age, and that is hard sometimes to realize. But at the same time, your life moves on no matter what, and I feel grateful I have the opportunity and chance to grow and experience perhaps a somewhat different perspective than I might have had otherwise.

Olivia: A different perspective is one of those benefits I guess.

Steve: One of those things that is both incredible and frustrating about learning a language and at least from my perspective, learning a culture like I have here. You end up straddling the line between being a part of what is going on and still the outsider. This is incredible in the way that it affords one a freedom to not constantly be in conformity with society and the way it is.

Olivia: Can you give me an example of that?

Steve: Well, being a token American in an office full of Germans allows you almost to be freer to be yourself, hey I wear jeans, but that’s because he’s the American. In a country like this where a majority of people will wait for the crosswalk light to change at three am when there is nothing for miles, it makes things easier. But at the same time, you are still an outsider, with that outsider perspective. Maybe that does not completely make sense in an interview like this, but it is something I think about and consider a lot here. It can be psychologically stressful and there are often times when frankly I am Germaned out. But hey, I am going on vacation in a week, so what can you say.

Olivia: Where to?

Steve: five leg journey for three weeks, FRA – JFK – BUE – SCL – WAS – FRA, Frankfurt, NYC, Buenos Aires, Santiago, Washington and Frankfurt, should be awesome. Jen Bohnson might even join me on a leg or two.

i love this photo, cos it totally captures what happens when steve and ben, i mean, jen, get together.

Olivia: So finally, what will you miss about Germany?

Steve: of course the next question. The bread, the cheese, the trains, the Bauhaus tradition in furniture and the way they design their windows here (really, that would be one of the first things I would bring back to the states, the windows are incredible), the Christmas markets, Berlin (even though I haven’t been in years now, too much nostalgia), the news here, the beer and the ability to actually drink it in a park or in public, Altkönigstrasse, the main tower, the people I work with including the greatest secretary on earth and the sensation that you get almost every day that you have figured out how to live in a foreign country. After tangling with bureaucracy here, getting things like cable installed, finding an apartment, dealing with banks, 19% VAT, television tax and a language that has taken ages to master, I feel like I have accomplished something. Maybe it’s stupid, but well, it’s the simple pleasures in life.

Olivia: We have the television tax in Britain too, and it’s ridiculous considering I only get four channels. Now onto the important stuff - what is yr secret power?

Steve: Well I am blessed with a special insight, one that allows me to keenly observe and comment on cultures and peoples with a modicum of exposure, but unfortunately I can’t grow a goatee. For real though, indefatigability. I have no idea if that’s a word, but it works in light of your first question. Oh, and I can also sleep in strange positions in airports.

Olivia: Ha. do you sleep in jimjams? what kind?

Steve: um no. no jimjams, not since the footie pjs when I was a kid and well, they never designed those zippers right.

Olivia: what is yr #1 favorite food?

Steve: super easy, quiche lorraine! My mom makes the greatest, though I haven’t eaten it in years.

Olivia: what is yr top restaurant recommendation in yr town (or close by). what’s the best thing on the menu?

Steve: well Frankfurt is not known for constant culinary delights, but tops expensive – Knoblauch, a French place three streets away that does a Seeteufel mit Speckmantel! Um yea, Monkfish with Bacon Jacket! Seriously, who says no to that – a bacon jacket! Only a communist. I wish I had a bacon jacket. But cheap, that would be döner from köylü. Finest döner in Frankfurt. I challenge you to find me a tastier one in this cosmopolitan international banking center.

so when you go to frankfurt, look for this place. steve will most likely be siting right there.

Olivia: Yumm, I want a bacon jacket. Tell me about yr top area of expertise.

Steve: Then I don’t have to call you a communist. Expertise would be the pre Tunnel of Love albums of Bruce Springsteen. Ok, I know, a bit out of touch. But look, my dad is from Jersey and I sometimes call people a ‘class act’ when I am scolding them.

Olivia: Scolding, huh? what was yr favorite item of clothing as a child?

Steve: anything ocean pacific or Zubaz! Actually we got the knock-off Zubaz because the real ones were too expensive, much like real girbaud jeans and hypercolor t-shirts. I hope people know what Zubaz are because it might have been a Minnesota thing, now I feel the need to link them - http://www.zubaz.com/ - imagine the target knock-offs. The ladies in seventh grade loved Zubaz!

Olivia: I’ll have to check those out. what was yr favorite toy as a child? (the moody bonus question)

Steve: g.i. joes and castle greyskull.

Olivia: what do you plan on doing when you’re 80?

Steve: I have yet to plan Buenos Aires yet, give me some time.

Olivia: if you could assemble yr own ocean’s 11, who would you pick and why?

Steve: my brothers, the more benhams the better, winston because I will surely need a doctor before it’s done, Josh because there are never enough lawyers and well, maybe some germans? no, no germans, I’d rather go with five people.

Olivia: what is yr best karaoke song?

Steve: as you know because you have seen me do it - it is born to run - which I might add, I sang last Friday in a terrible bar. I went down, found it, picked it out, took it to the mildly retarded dj who was running the most popular karaoke bar in town and he gave me a quizzical look and said he didn’t know what that was. It was at that point I was afraid the art has passed me by.

Olivia: I was drunk that night so don’t remember “Born to Run” specifically.

Steve: That’s why it sounded so awesome.

steve, born to play the tambourine at a karaoke bar.

Olivia: I will take your word - do people ever tell you that you look like someone famous? who?

Steve: actually, no.

Olivia: tell me something scandalous!

Steve: [REDACTED FOR SECURITY REASONS]

Olivia: That will be censored.

Steve: Censorship! On poshdeluxe and being interviewed by such an intrepid journalist?! The infringement of our basic rights has finally entered the blogosphere, long thought to be the last refuge of freedom of speech, and by proxy true democracy. But yet it crumbles even here, as the forces of totalitarianism creep across the internet, choking out even the last gasp of the marketplace of ideas. The American public weeps today.

Olivia: I think you are turning into your father.

Steve: hmm, maybe I am.

yay! this interview was wonderful, which comes as no surprise, since it was the work of two wonderful people. many thanks to steve, who is awesome, and olivia, who is also awesome.

LINKS

i’ve been meaning to link to this all week– make sure you check out the latest masterpiece from joss whedon, dr. horrible. i could describe it but… joss made it. that’s all you need to know.

whoah, check out this totally badass grandma who fought off two robbers with a broom!

little emily is now equipped with the best “so, when i was a kid, i got to meet the president…” story, ever.

just in case you needed more evidence that slash’s mom is the coolest lady ever, here you go.

dear diary pants: meet the 8th grade poshdeluxe

Published by
Sarah
July 17, 2008 in dear diary and growing up. 15 Comments

last night, i did something i haven’t done in a v. v. long time.

i went over to my nightstand and pulled out a few of my old journals, which were slightly dusty. and then, i actually OPENED them and started reading, flipping through pages filled with penciled scrawl.

what i found within those pages is kind of horrifying and hilarious at the same time, particularly during the 1993-94 era. it turns out that i was quite a meticulous autobiographer, painting vivid pictures of snobby girls and aloof boys and impossible tests and giggle infested sleepovers. i can’t BELIEVE some of the things i wrote down, and yet… i can. because, funnily enough, i am still that same person, the girl who agonized over her geometry homework and who she would see at the school dance. although i like to think i have improved in certain areas, particularly in being able to actually *speak* to boys now.

this journey through (a v. awkward) time inspired me to start a new little series on this blog, “dear diary pants.” basically, i will share with you a particularly, uh, entertaining entry from one of my old journals, prefaced with a summary of what you are about to discover about the adolescent posh deluxe. i will also try to include a photo taken around the time of the entry, just to give you some context.

hopefully, my teenage angst and embarrassment will amuse you. because it *certainly* amuses me.

the following entry is from february 2, 1993.

in this entry, you will learn the following about 13 year old posh deluxe:

1. she is v. paranoid about someone reading her journal.

2. she believes that abbreviating names will help to maintain her secrecy, even though all it really does is confuse the older version of herself, who cannot for the life of her remember who most of these people are.

3. she does not know how to talk to boys, at all.

4. even though she really WANTS to talk to boys, she still doesn’t want a boyfriend. she thinks.

5. she is really, really confused.

ok, so i’m not in this picture, but my friends are: talena, becky and randy. and i’m already embarrassing myself enough, right? right. you can send hate mail to jennifer for furnishing me with this gem.

I am in a very personal mood. If anyone is reading this, STOP RIGHT NOW! This is very personal! If you don’t stop reading, I’ll kick your butt! (ok, I’ll get Aaron B. to kick your butt).

The subject for today is: guys. Yes folks, boys, men (ha!) at our school.

I will also talk about my dreams! Not the ones I have while I am sleeping, but the ones I think about, my wishes. I wish I had a magic wishing well, all to my own, and whenever I threw a penny in and wished, it would come true. Man, I have so many wishes that, after a year, that thing woudl be holding about one thousand pennies. I wouldn’t want a Genie, cause usually they limit your wishes. Heck, if I ever get a chace for things to come true, I’m going all the way! (and I don’t mean that, you sick person).

Anyway, back to my original 2 subjects. Do you know, dearest journal, that I have never gone out with a single guy! Yes, it’s true, but it’s probably my fault. I never went to “The School of Flirting” like Emily C. or Melissa L. That’s probably why I’m so jealous of them both! They know how to do everything right, and I can never think of anything to say around a guy. I’m always funny and wacko around my friends, but when I’m around guys, it’s totally different. Well, there are a few exceptions– Seth and Navid, for instance [ed. note: both of those guys turned out to be gay. HOW IRONIC]. I think the reason I’m so comfortable around them is that they speak first. I don’t have to get them to try to notice me. They already talk to me. With, ahem, Mr. “T” and, like, Mr. “A” [ed. note: i have no idea who that was] I have to really show them that I am alive and can hold a conversation. With some, it is halfway, such as Mr. “J.” I guess that’s because he got to know me, so I’m a little more comfortable. It’s so discouraging, sometimes I feel like I’m getting better at befriending guys, but I’m still- just- I don’t know! And then there’s Mr. “Q” who thinks I like him, cuz I’m always talking to him! He’s really nice and funny, but now I can’t talk to him freely because he’s suspicious.

And then, when I actually like a guy, and he, maybe, likes me (I think), it’s too late! He likes somebody else! That just happened to me! It is so agonizing! I thought I had a dance partner secured for the “Valentine’s Dance” and now he’s about to go out with one of my friends. And then I think about the people I know that are always sitting with guys and stuff, and I can’t figure out why! They have noooo personality, or wit, or whatever. But then, maybe guys don’t think I do, either, because I don’t show it.

I feel hurt inside about what just happened. I know I shouldn’t. I guess I felt that he was mine to keep, kinda, and nobody else would enter [ed note: ?] but ain’t that stupid!

Of course, actually, I don’t think I’d want to go out with a guy yet. I’d be tooooo embarrassed. Now, that’s kind of an oxymoron! Here I am, talking about how I want to become better friends with guys and stuff, and then I say I wouldn’t want to go out with one anyway! Geez, am I confused.

Well, it has helped to write things down! And maybe, I’ve learned some from this too!

Farewell,

Sarah!

Hey, maybe I’ll start putting an exclamation mark there. :)

LINKS

OMGGGGG!!!! teaser trailer for TERMINATOR 4!!!!!!!! whew, now i’ll have something to look forward to after i finally see batman tomorrow.

even though estelle is still my main summer jam, i am LOVING this new COLOURS video, feat. bently, kanye and andre 3000.

balloon graffiti? oh heck yes. you MUST check out these photos.

jezebel compiled a great hollywood casting list for female advertising icons. and, to be honest, i wouldn’t be surprised to find rihanna on a can of morton’s salt.

sadie is REALLY excited about this new website that tells her (and me) exactly when the bus is coming!! finally! technology that is actually USEFUL!

wow, these beach houses are amazing. but you know, i’ll take any house on a beach, no matter how fugly it is. cos i’m humble like that.

speaking of cool houses, jancee dunn just wrote an article for the NYT about a totally charming little house in brooklyn WHERE I WANT TO LIVE THANK YOU.

talena sent me this article about a kid who protects his neighborhood from speeders by donning an orange vest and using a radar gun. i’m sorry, but that kid is totally gonna get the pee knocked out of him in high school.

how to enjoy the schlit out of the schlitterbahn

Published by
Sarah
July 16, 2008 in voyages. 9 Comments

as you all know, i love summer.

and it’s not a true summer unless you’ve hit up the schlitterbahn, the best water park in the entire frickin’ world.

i’ve been going to the schlitterbahn since i was an EXTREMELY EXCITED little girl slathered in snotty bull frog sunscreen with neon orange floaties attached to my arms. so today, i have decided to share with you all of the ancient wisdom i have gained, with the hope that it will benefit you on a future visit to this magical, amazing place of water enchantment.

because, if you know how to do it right, the schlitterbahn can change yr life.

1. get a big group of people and rent a house nearby

for the past two years, i’ve rented a house in gruene and packed in as many members of pants world as possible. there are two main benefits to this plan: 1) the close proximity to the park means that you can be there at the crack of dawn when the gates open (v. v. important!!!!). 2) it’s like a one weekend version of “the real world” except with people that you really, really like.

2. eat dinner at the gristmill

i’ve written about this incredible establishment of tasty business before, but let me reiterate: if you are within 100 miles of the gristmill, you must eat there. it’s the law.

it is not, however, required that you dress up like twinsies.

don’t be put off by the large crowds of people waiting for tables. think of this as “texas atmosphere” and just order yrself a margarita.

once seated, allow yr friends to entertain you so that, if the food takes a while, it doesn’t matter. for example, yr friend meredith might put on the ridiculous gold chain that yr boyfriend wears and act like a hardcore gangsta.

and then yr friend ray might do the same.

and then you can look around the table and get a warm feeling inside, not only cos yr tummy is about to be really happy but also cos YOU LOVE YR FRIENDS!!!

and when the food arrives, ENJOY THE PANTS OUT OF IT. you might not even need a fork.

it’s also fun to bring someone from another country, cos then you can be all, “this is real TEXAS food, john!” and “isn’t the chicken fried steak amazing?!! i bet they don’t have this in ireland, boy howdy!”

3. bring fun games to play at the house

games like “catch phrase” not only strengthen yr mind, they also bring you a little bit closer to yr loved ones.

for example, during one particular round, i was forced to read ray’s mind in order to discover the answer to why he was posing like this.

you don’t have to read juliet and ray’s minds to know why they are posing like this: cos it’s awesome.

4. get plenty of sleep the night before so you can wake up bright and early for the schlitterbahn!

look at john! he got a whopping 5 hours of sleep and looks as chipper as chip!

mandy is REARING to go!

5. get there early so you can score a pinic table with a scenic view.

sometimes you might have to be really bossy to get everyone out of the house by 9:15 AM, but don’t worry, everyone will thank you later.

6. standing in line can be just as fun as the ride itself

the schlitterbahn is crowded, which means you’ll spend much of the day waiting in a line. but, if you have excellent conversation partners who can tell you stories about, say, the time they saw someone die on the highway, the time will fly by. trust me.

7. TUBE YR PANTS OFF

i mean that figuratively, although i think henri took it in the more literal sense.

YOU GUYS IT IS SO EASY TO HAVE FUN HERE!!!! LOOK AT MEREDITH!!

8. watch out for bodily injuries

the rides at the schlitterbahn can actually get a little crazy at times, so while you’re having fun, watch out for yr head/legs/arms/extremities. poor amber experienced a head collision with ray on “the cliffhanger,” and while she looked adorable afterwards, it was NOT FUN. and you do NOT want to not have fun at the schlit.

9. KEEP TUBING YR PANTS OFF

don’t stop!!!!!!

10. return to the table for periodic refreshment

in order to make it through a whole day, you will definitely need to stop for food, beverages and the occasional nap, as illustrated by mandy.

11. take the tram to the other section of the park

that’s right, the schlitterbahn is so massive, there are THREE DIFFERENT SECTIONS. but don’t worry, you can easily take a tram to cross over. it’s even more fun if you have a tram buddy!

12. ride the “lazy” river!!!!

the lazy river in the newest section of the park isn’t exactly “lazy.” it’s more like a fast moving current with lots of HUGE WAVES and a TON of people. it is pretty much my favorite way to hang out in water, ever.

13. ride the lazy river again!

don’t worry, you will want to.

14. make the traditional schlitter “o” face while riding the lazy river

again, this will come naturally. don’t worry.

15. surprise someone by showing up in their tube

people LOVE to share their one person tube. just ask juliet.

16. if you want to avoid the lines, just walk past people like you know what you’re doing.

while waiting in line for “the master blaster,” henri, erica and i noticed a girl slowly making her way through the long, snaking line. we all assumed she was trying to find her friend, but then we eventually realized that, no, she had just bypassed the entire line and gotten on the ride. and NO ONE STOPPED HER. of course, this might have had something to do with that fact that she was mentally handicapped. so, yeah.

17. if you find a waterproof disposable camera in the ladies bathroom, return it to the lost and found and feel good about yrself for the rest of the day!

i didn’t know about this rule until last weekend, when i lost my camera for approximately seven panic-inducing minutes. thankfully, a good samaritan actually TURNED IT IN, but not before leaving me with this little “hello!”

dear blonde friend of the good samaritan: even though i don’t know you, i think yr friend is awesome for turning in my camera, and even more awesome for taking a picture with it before doing so.

wait what number am i on

right right!

18. RIDE THE LAZY RIVER AGAIN

obviously, you should go on other rides too (the “master blaster” is amazing, and even though “dragon’s revenge” is super cheesy, you get to tube through a DRAGON’S FACE!!!!), but the lazy river will never cease to be fun, especially cos there’s no line!!!

19. keep yrself energized with classy energy drinks

this year, henri discovered a new source of HARDCORE EXTREME ENERGY: hooters!

thank you, meredith, for pointing out where the boobs are on the can. much appreciated.

20. REPEAT.

after enjoying a full, exhausting day at the schlitterbahn, there may be nothing more that you want to do than go home and fall into bed. well, that’s where you’re WRONG! what you REALLY want to do is spend a second day at the schlitterbahn. trust me. cos two amazing days are WAY better than one.

21. buy another disposable camera to cover yr second day.

otherwise, yr blog entry about the schlitterbahn will end really abruptly.

LINKS

OMGG! one of my fave YA books, “angus, thongs and full frontal snogging” is coming out as a movie!! and directed by the lady from “bend it like beckham”!!!!

the new “office” spinoff just got BETTER– apparently amy poehler is joining the cast, and the only female writer from the daily show is on board!

henri sent me this fascinating exploration of what happens when you model for a stock photo. answer? yr face ends up EVERYWHERE.

“i can’t have a baby because i have a 12:30 lunch meeting”

Published by
Sarah
July 15, 2008 in family and growing up. 18 Comments

i remember the first time i encountered the idea of a big shot professional working mama. her name was j.c. wiatt, and she was a high powered new york business woman until one day, she received an inheritance… in the form of a baby.

yeah, that’s right, i’m talking about “baby boom.”

i remember LOVING this movie as a kid, cos it featured glitzy new york city and a cute baby and homemade apple sauce which looked DIVINE. at the time, i thought it was perfectly natural that a woman would give up her uber powerful corporate job and retire to a quiet town in vermont to raise her kid and make applesauce.

i mean, obviously, right?

now, of course, i can’t help but wonder if j.c. ever got bored with small town life. what if she missed having an assistant bring her coffee? or making decisions that actually affected more than, say, two people? or walking into a room and having people see her as “that big shot CEO lady” or even just “j.c.” as opposed to “mom”?

jezebel posted two separate entries related to this topic today, one about how difficult it is for moms to juggle jobs and kids (file that under Big Duh Science) and the other about a new policy in britain that gives more maternity leave to mothers but reinforces the idea that women should always be the primary caregiver. uh, i’m guessing “baby boom” made more of a splash in the UK than “mr. mom.”

given the current state of the economy, it seems more and more likely that both parents will have to continue working after they start a family. oh, and don’t even get me started on maternity (or paternity) leave.

it makes me wonder about how i will feel, whenever i have kids (which is far, far into the distant future, let me assure you, unless i randomly inherit a baby like j.c.). what sort of choices will i have? what if i want to stay home but can’t afford it? what if i stay home and suddenly feel, well, like i’m suffocating, because i’ve lost a v. real part of my identity?

when i look back on my childhood, i know i was extremely fortunate to have a mother that was able to hang out with me, 24/7. sure, she took me to mother’s day out for a break now and then, but for the most part, mom was always there, whether i needed a PB & honey sandwich or a narrator for the 367th reading of “blueberries for sal.”

would my childhood have been different if my mom had worked? of course. would it have been worse? i doubt it, considering that my parents are both so amazing.

but would it have been harder on them? certainly. did my mom ever regret staying at home rather than pursuing a career? i don’t think so.

these are all questions that people, parents, have to answer for themselves… then again, financially, sometimes they only have one option.

since i was never a “latch key” kid, i harbor a real curiosity about how parents who both work make time to give their children the love and education they need. i know it’s certainly, definitely possible, but i want to know *how* you do it… without retiring and making gourmet apple sauce for a living.

so, pants world: what do you think is necessary to create a positive and nurturing environment for kids? what lessons did you learn from yr parents, especially with regards to balance?

and, for those of you with kids… or about to have a little one… how did you make these choices, about working or staying home?

of course, if j.c. wiatt was transplanted to 2008, she’d probably just hire four nannies, throw in an adopted kid from a third world country and call it a day.

LINKS

weburbanist is gonna do an eight part series on bansky. and i am v. glad.

the new italian vogue, featuring all black models, is totally awesome. so, tell me, fashion world, why don’t i see any of these fine ladies on the runway?

BWE compiled a list of movies that made more money on their opening weekend than eddie murphy’s latest disaster, “meet dave.” and WOW, “baby geniuses”? really? ok, that’s just sad.

now, the bellas and edwards of the world can find love online thanks to lovebitten.net. you better believe i’m gonna start trolling for spike… (thanks matt for the link).

apparently, it’s now a big trend to take children’s drawings and try to recreate them. so far, though, this guy is my favorite. maybe it’s because i soooo drew that pink princess room. plus, i love the recreation of a child’s perception of tables…

have you guys heard of this blind 5 year-old girl who is, like, a mini mozart? wow.

check out this PB&J mechanical munchie machine!!! uh, can i get a mac & cheese munchie machine? what about one for sweet potato fries? (thanks to moody for the link).

do you guys know what a beguine is? i didn’t, until i read this fascinating article in the times travel section.

jezebel has a clip from one of the greatest eps of “intervention” ever. and by greatest, i mean the best possible marriage of hilarious and depressing.

can you tell me how to get, how to get on sesame street?

Published by
Sarah
July 14, 2008 in culturelux. 17 Comments

one note before i start today’s post– for some reason, the comments on selina’s interview were disabled, so i had to fix them this morning. if you already read the interview, please feel free to go back and leave her a comment (or question)!

there are lots of reasons people want to be famous– the money, the attention, the sprawling mansions, the power, the chance to design yr own perfume/clothes/leggings, etc.

but in my opinion, all of those reasons pale in comparison to the BEST thing about being famous.

and that, my friends, is the opportunity to appear on “sesame street.”

every time i see a celebrity on sesame street, i am filled with both excitement (look! it’s natalie portman! hanging out with elmo!) and extreme jealousy (look! it’s natalie portman! hanging out with elmo, WHICH I WOULD KILL TO DO!!).

i guess my reaction makes sense, given that palling around with muppets has pretty much been my #1 goal since i was, oh, two years old.

today, i saw a video of yet another lucky celebrity appearing on what is probably the most revered show in all of television history.

this time, the celebrity guest was feist, and she paired up with some sesame street creatures to sing a monster-themed “1,2,3,4.”

ok, in spite of my jealousy, that was really, really awesome.

in fact, *every time* i see a muppet clip from “sesame street,” i get teary-eyed. it doesn’t matter if the skit is hilariously goofy or the characters are singing about how to answer the phone, i just get so EMOTIONAL. i guess i’ll always have an extremely tender spot in my heart for that show and all of the monsters that taught me how to count (even in spanish) and spell.

with that said, if i ever do become famous, i already know who i want to hang out with on sesame street.

he’s blue, furry and likes to have his tummy scratched.

grover has ALWAYS been my favorite, as evidenced by the ratty (i.e. MUCH LOVED) grover doll that still sits on a chair in my bedroom. sure, kermit is great, and miss piggy will always be fabulous, but there’s something so weirdly charming about grover. maybe it’s his voice or his flappy arms. or maybe it’s the way that he LOVES kids, and kids love him back.

when i was a little sarah, i *longed* to be one of the privileged few who got to hang out with grover, although back then, it was the kids that i most envied.

lucky, LUCKY children like chris:

and chelsea:

i mean, HOW PRECIOUS IS THAT?!!!!

can you IMAGINE how amazing it must be just to chillax with grover and talk about what words mean and how to respect yr neighbor? and then to end it all with a hug?

cos, out of everything, grover knew how to talk about love. which i can’t say for some humans.

this is probably my favorite grover conversation about love:

“hugs and kisses and warm feeling inside” = exactly.

grover, just so you know, if we ever hang out, i would like to discuss the following:

1) our favorite foods

2) how plants grow

3) using “please” and “thank you”

and of course, there would be hugs and tickling involved.

basically, it would be just like this:

see? wouldn’t that be fun? invite me over to play!!!

and now, pants world, tell me who YOU would like to hang out with on sesame street!

(here’s a list if you need a reminder)

p.s. the runner up to grover would most definitely be slimey the worm.

we could eat through all kinds of foods together!!!!

LINKS

BEST NEW REALITY SHOW ALERT: from g’s to gents. sweet cracker SANDWICH i cannot wait to watch wannabe gangstas drink tea and learn SAT words. it’s gonna be OFF THE CHAIN… i mean, absolutely scintillating.

thanks to ananka’s diary, i just found my favorite new website, weburbanist.com. check out some incredibly (awesome) geeky art and this FASCINATING list of abandoned cities. road/plane/boat trip, anyone

BATMAN OPENS THIS WEEK AAUUUGHH. which means i have a date with christian bale, holla! but, as jezebel points out, have you guys ever noticed how weird his accent (in real life) is? i mean, obviously i find it adorable but it is a bit on the jack kelly side. check him out on the today show.

these picture bandits are AMAZING.

hayao miyazaki has a new movie coming out, and apparently it’s about a little tadpole with a girl’s head. or something. all i know is, it’s gonna be THE CUTEST!!! also? japanese film reviews are about as entertaining as the films themselves.

dude, if you’re gonna scream, scream into this. (<– yes, that was a lame attempt at a wayne’s world reference)

a day in her pants: the posh deluxe interview with selina keilani

Published by
Sarah
July 11, 2008 in day in the pants. 6 Comments

ladies and gentlemen, today i am extremely pleased to present to you an interview with the lovely selina keilani.

to regular readers of le blog, selina’s face is no doubt familiar to you, especially since i recently wrote about her ultra wonderful wedding at the beginning of june.

one might assume that i met selina through erica g., given the fact that they’ve been best friends since they attended UT together. but you know what happens when you AssUMe.

i actually met selina in 2005 through k.c., who suggested that selina talk to me about my graduate program at UT (she was considering it at the time). over lunch, i realized that we knew a lot of the same people, including henri; consequently, after that meeting, we started running into each other and then, eventually, we began planning to run into each other. she is now a regular fixture on the girlie night circuit, as well as one of my highly select Power Lunch Players, since we both work on campus.

although the word “multicultural” tends to be (in my opinion) overused by society, i can say, with utmost confidence and esteem, that selina is one of the most multicultural people i know. she speaks arabic, dances the samba, takes portuguese classes and practices islam, AMONG MANY OTHER THINGS. this girl has a fierce case of global curiosity, and she pursues all of her interests with incredible passion. in fact, that’s probably the trait i admire most– her enthusiastic embrace of cultures. if more people in america were like selina, we’d totally get voted Most Popular by all of the other countries, as opposed to the way we’ve viewed now (uh, Most Conceited? Most Stupidest?). not to mention the fact that we’d all be trilingual, which would rule.

it’s been a pleasure to get to know selina over these past few years, not only because i gained a great friend but also because there’s so many *layers* to this girl. it’s not often that you find yrself in a conversation with a friend, saying, “oh, you and yr family fled kuwait during the gulf war? i see.” or “ok, so let me get this straight. while i spent most of my childhood summers at the public library, you were in… spain.”

i value different perspectives highly in friends, and selina adds something absolutely unprecedented to my mix… something invaluable, actually.

selina and me, forming a v. lonely (BUT DEFIANT AND STRONG) red rover team on field day, 2008.

so let’s get this interview started, then you can see what i mean!

p.s. selina, like jennifer, did an AMAZING job of putting together photos for me. you will THANK HER when you see some of these gems.

ok, let’s start by discussing your international (some might say superspy!) background. you are the only person i know who spent her childhood in kuwait. tell me what that was like! oh and describe yr family background, too.

Let’s start with my family. Both my parents are Palestinian. My parents met there and then moved around a few times before they ended up Kuwait (they lived in Utah where my dad went to grad school, he later worked at the World Bank, etc). I have 5 siblings, 2 sisters and 3 brothers! My sisters live in Austin which I love. My older sister has two adorable girls that I love hanging out with. My older sister and I have always been super close even though she is 9 years older than me. My younger sister and I have a lot in common and right now its super fun cuz we live in the same apartment complex! 2 of my brothers live in Dallas as do my parents. My oldest brother Samer has a really cute son and works with my dad. My brother Basil lives in Korea where he is teaching English. My dad is a super awesome business wiz who owns his company and he also loves to write poetry! My mom is an amazing cook and super bargain hunter.

now THIS is a family photo.

As a child, Kuwait was great for me. People are always surprised when I tell them I moved to the US when I was 11 and many ask “how come you don’t have an accent?” I went to the American School of Kuwait and spoke English better than Arabic. My school was great because it had students from all over the world and we got to do fun “American” things. For example, one of our favorite days was sports day, you know like field day. My fave was tug of war and my class always won which meant we got to eat icecream in class! We also did weird things like one day we dressed up all country and had a square dance. I used to love where we lived, it was a large apartment complex mostly made up of foreigners (ie not Kuwaitis) with a huge common play area and pools. I had so many great times playing with neighbors and swimming in the pool. On the last day of school, me and my friend Jessica would jump into the pool with our uniforms on!

little miss kuwait 1982 (she ruled the bathing suit competition with that number)

now that you’ve been in america for a long time, how do you think a childhood in kuwait compares to one in the states?

I think part of that depends on your family background, class, etc but for me personally there were some similarities to life in the US and lots of differences. Some examples of the differences: we always had maids in Kuwait (totally normal there) and we always spent the whole summer away from Kuwait. As you can imagine, it’s really hot there so anyone that could afford it would leave. My parents traveled to many different places when they were younger but by the time I could really remember things we mostly went to Turkey and then Spain. We only had two channels when I lived in Kuwait, one in Arabic and the other in English. I am thankful for the English channel because I can relate to the Cosby show, my little pony, etc. but we didn’t have as much TV as in the US. Although we got to watch American movies on TV, any sort of kiss or romantic scene on TV was edited out. We always thought anything American was cool so anytime a friend or relative would go to the US we would beg for things like Bubble Yum and Baby-sitter’s Club books. Another difference is that although it’s a small country, you interact more with people from different backgrounds. There are more serious issues in Kuwait that we had to deal with. For example, you can’t get citizenship or own property in Kuwait unless you are from there. They didn’t always treat foreigners, like Palestinians, very well. There are some things that I didn’t think about until living in the US like how there is rampant abuse of domestic and manual laborers in Kuwait.

selina, her mom, and what i’m sure was some v. v. tasty birthday cake (btw, those candles are huge).

you spent many summers in spain… tell me about THAT, cosmo pants!

Some of my best memories are of my summers in Spain. My parents have an apartment in Marbella which is in the south of Spain. It is right on the beach! We had such an amazing routine. We would spend the mornings at the beach, our mom would call us from the balcony (we could see her from the beach) for lunch, we would take a siesta, then go to the pool. In the evening we would go out to dinner and take a stroll. Many days we would get ice cream. Their ice cream was amazing and my favorite was green apple…YUM! 5 minutes from our apt. is this lovely promenade where there are no cars for miles. You get to people watch and enjoy the weather while eating at a fun restaurant.

There is this area that you would have loved, Sarah. It’s called Puerto Banus, and it’s where all the luxury yachts dock. It was the place where all the posh people went :). One of the best things about the apartment, is that we made lots of friends in Spain and had great times with different people. I even had my first romance there! There were also some crazy times that usually involved my dad trying to drive a stick in Spain. Some years we traveled to cities like Sevilla and Cordoba. One time, in spite of my protests, he drove us right into a pedestrian square! I was mortified! Unfortunately, I haven’t been in about 5 years. I really hope to go next summer. Here is an apartment in the same building (but this one is bigger).

when the gulf war began, you and yr family were in spain, and consequently you never returned home. i can’t imagine what that must have been like. were you scared? overwhelmed? unable to process? what was it like to be forced to leave all of yr friends and possessions, everything familiar, behind?

It was a very strange and scary experience. When it happened, my brother Basil was in the US. He called and told us and we didn’t believe him (my dad hung up on him) until we saw the news. It was totally crazy and unexpected. We didn’t return home because we were scared to since we were Palestinian (Kuwaitis were pissed at Palestinians since some outside Kuwait supported Saddam….complicated issue…ask me sometime). So we left all our things there! Imagine, we only had summer clothes for a vacation. My uncle who was there managed to save a few of our photos and some jewelry but not much else. I was very sad to leave my 6 Persian kittens, my friends, and my toys. It was also awful because the stress really affected my parents and they were bedridden for a month with back issues and it was just my parents me and my two younger siblings at the time. I was 10 and all of a sudden I had to take care of my little sister and my brother who was only 1. That was a big grow up moment for me. It’s still really sad to me that I will never have all my photos, my childhood toys, my parents prized possesions, etc.

selina and her brother, samer, posing in front of some of the precious toys she later had to leave behind.

at the time, what was yr perspective on the war? what was yr parents’ reaction?

We were totally shocked and obviously upset that Iraq was coming in like that. My parents were really devastated because all our financial assets were frozen and we had no money. My dad had to borrow a lot of money from friends and relatives. I think my parents were really in shock. My uncle took some photos of our house after people ransacked it and it was very sad to see things all over the floor, our piano ripped apart, etc. I think as kids we didn’t grasp it fully. In Denton, we were on the local news once and my younger sister Tanya said to the reporter “the Iraqi soldiers are playing with my barbies.” She was 5 at the time and after seeing that some strangers sent her barbies in the mail :).

selina and her dad, on vacation… somewhere exotic, i’m sure!

how did yr family end up in texas?

My parents threw around lots of ideas on where we were going to live. They even looked into a school in Spain for me (I kinda liked that idea :). Finally, we decided to go to Texas where my older brother and sister were attending the University of North Texas. My parents applied for political asylum and we got really lucky. My mom thought ahead and had my younger siblings in the US. I think their citizenship status helped us a bit.

BLESS YOU, selina, for actually sending me a picture from junior high.

what kind of culture shock did you experience, going from kuwait (and spain) to little old carrollton, texas? what sort of stereotypes did you encounter?

Well, the worst was going to the 5th grade in Denton at the end of October after the war. Not only was I the new girl that showed up after school had started but I was a weird foreigner from a country that was in the news. I got the usual things like “did you sleep in a tent?”, “did you ride a camel to school”, etc. Also, I went from being in an amazing private school to being in a run of the mill public school. That was hard because I was way ahead of everyone and well behaved so the teacher really liked me. Nobody wanted to be friends with me. This one boy was sweet and we talked until the class started a rumor that we liked each other and then he stopped talking to me too. We went from having money to not having anything for a while and we lived in a small apartment. My dad didn’t have a job and that was hard for him. I couldn’t buy new clothes for school (I would steal shirts from my older siblings and thought I was cool) which did not help my popularity. At times it was hard fitting in with the crowd since I felt different and my parents didn’t let me do things that other kids liked to do. Despite all that, I was kind of excited to be in America. I can’t imagine living anywhere else now.

selina’s v. v. american senior portrait. and again, i will thank her for providing this treasure trove of photos.

did you have to make a conscious decision to hold on to certain pieces (or all) of yr heritage? do you see yourself as more of a global citizen, a blend of cultures?

I think that some of it is a conscious decision because unless I make an effort to celebrate and participate in my culture and religion, it’s easy to ignore. For example, it will always “feel” Christmas here since a lot of people celebrate it but I have to really make an effort to make Eid feel present and special. I definitely feel like a blend of different cultures and experiences. When we were in Kuwait, we weren’t the same as our relatives in Jordan or Palestine. Now that we are in America, we are not American enough for some here and our relatives back home think of us as American. Being an Arab and a Muslim are big parts of who I am and I really cherish that. As I have gotten older, I appreciate it even more. For example, I am now taking Arabic classes at UT and make an effort to speak it more. I really hope to teach my kids Arabic and I hope they feel like it’s a part of them too. I love being an Arab and a Muslim but it doesn’t mean I agree with everyone’s interpretation of what that is…same for being American. I pick and choose the things that appeal to me about the cultures and traditions and that’s what’s great about having lots to choose from.

samba (and, well, dancing in general) is a huge part of yr life now. where and how did yr interest develop?

I have always loved dancing but never had formal dance training. It all started when I took Portuguese at UT and then took a samba class since I decided I loved Brazilian culture. After about a year of classes, I was approached to join the samba school and to help start the dance section. It started out about 5 years ago with only me and one other dancer and now we have about 9 regular dancers. I love dancing, performing, and sharing what I know with other dancers. Sometimes, it’s difficult leading and organizing a dance troupe but it feels great when we are dancing and the audience is loving it.

what has been yr favorite dance performance (costume included!) so far?

Well, our big gig every year is the annual Carnaval at Palmer Auditorium where there about 5,000 people. It’s fun cuz we work hard for it all year long and wear our most elaborate costumes. Last year we dressed up as butterflies which was pretty cute and the year before we were mermaids, every little girl’s dream.

looks like these beautiful butterflies bought hats that were definitely NOT mistakes (sorry, YGM reference).

ok TELL ME ABOUT THE TIME YOU WERE ON UNIVISION!

Univision wanted to do a piece on Carnaval a couple of days before the show this year and so they filmed our rehearsal. They also had me show the reporter how to samba. Hilarious!! Especially since she was wearing a see through top and stilletos.

i like asking this question to all of my married friends: you’re MARRIED! what’s it like?

I just got married June 1 so I don’t think I am an expert yet but so far it’s been good. I know it’s all mental but it feels great to be “official”. I feel like we are really a team now and that’s exciting.

tell me, have you ever seen a more gorgeous, multicultural couple? no, you haven’t.

one of the things i admire the most about yr relationship with tommy is that you work hard to understand each other’s backgrounds while sharing a passion for different cultures and languages. what sort of steps have you guys taken to embrace both yr differences as well as yr overlapping interests?

I really appreciate Tommy’s interest in other cultures and his ability to learn languages. He spoke Spanish and spent a year abroad in Spain so that was a common bond. After I took Portuguese, I convinced him to take it and then we were both obsessed. He even studies in Brazil for a summer. He is in a Brazilian band and does capoeira and I am in a samba school! So we definitely share those things and enjoy exploring them together. Now, Tommy is taking Arabic classes with me which means the world to me. I love that through learning the language he is learning more about me and where I come from and he can relate to my family better as well. I can’t tell you how much it has helped with his dealings with my parents. I love that he is willing to go that extra mile and that one day when I speak to my kids in Arabic he can join in! The other day Tommy was kinda kidding and asking, “would you take Gaelic(Irish) if they had it at UT” and I said that I would totally do that with him. I have always felt like I had some connection to Irish people (and not just because I loved the Cranberries ;). I think it has more to do with being a Palestinian and feeling like Irish people and Palestinians had something in common in terms of dealing with injustice…so maybe I can’t relate to their drinking but that’s something else :).

Of course its not all easy and we have had to make compromises. We have sought the advice of others and done things like gone to a counselor since it can be hard to resolve these kinds of differences but we have decided it’s worth it for us. I may have to spend Christmas with his family sometimes and he will go to Eid prayer with me but honestly I am just so lucky that Tommy is so easygoing and willing to go along with what is important to me. Although Tommy and I are very different when it comes to our personalities, I think we will always share a love of language and culture.

the couple that roller skaters together, stays together.

you and i both work at UT, which means we possess a v. informed grasp of “bureaucracy” (not to mention the ability to power lunch, holla). do you see yrself staying here? any future plans? no pressure, obvs. i hate it when people ask me this so you can tell me to suck it if you want to.

I have worked at UT for almost 6 years! I really do like working here for all the benefits…I get to take a free class during work hours every semester! That’s pretty sweet. It doesn’t sound very ambitious to me but honestly I wouldn’t mind working here forever. I think I will keep moving jobs (I am on my third) to keep things from getting too boring since sometimes the jobs and bureacracy can really suck. I love being on a lively campus, going to lectures, and taking classes. I am however not looking forward to the day when I can’t pass for a student anymore!

what is yr secret power?

Well, I speak alot of languages (Arabic, English, and some Spanish and Portuguese), have traveled, and I pride myself on knowing lots of random details about other cultures. This helps me relate to lots of people and makes life interesting.

do you sleep in jimjams? what kind?

Hmmm, should we save this for the “tell me something scandalous” question? ha ha. I either wear just underwear or underwear and a tank top. If I lived somewhere really cold, I would buy an adult version of those pjs with feet!

selina and erica in NYC… how cute are they? also, i love the guy on the right for some reason.

what is yr #1 favorite food?

I loooove food so its really hard for me to pick one. If I had to, I would pick Lasagna in Spain. Its not like your usual American Lasagna. It involves bechamel sauce, a creamy white sauce, and baking in a cute individual dish in a wood oven! Kinda like this.

what is yr top restaurant recommendation in austin? what’s the best thing on the menu?

That’s another tough one but I really love Eastside Cafe and their Wild Mushroom Crepes: “Two crepes filled with wild mushrooms, domestic mushrooms, walnuts, ricotta, and jack cheese. Topped with roasted tomato mushroom sauce.” Yum!!

i love the invisible steering wheel installed in this car (tommy and selina, at disneyworld visiting erica g.).

tell me about yr top area of expertise.

I would have to say my top area of expertise involves samba since I teach and lead a group of samba performers at the Austin Samba School. We perform at different events around Austin such as Carnaval, parades, New Year’s Eve parties, etc. I never had dance training as a kid but I always loved to dance so its wonderful having it in my life now. I have been performing with the school for over 4 years and my interest in samba all started when I took my first Portuguese class at UT and I haven’t stopped since. Lately I have been going to Brazil camp, a one week camp during the summer in the redwoods of N. California where we get to dance all day under a canopy of trees!

what was yr favorite item of clothing as a child?

I absolutely loved this outfit I had when I was about 7 years old. It was white shorts and a top that had splatter paint all over it in different colors! I wore it all the time. It got to point where it was getting too small on me and my mom hid it from me. Needless to say I found it and wore it again…tightness and all!

personally, i’m a fan of this little red and blue number. but seriously, selina, did you KNOW you were an anime character when you were a kid? cos you were.

what was yr favorite toy as a child? (the moody bonus question)

I was very girly and always loved my barbies. My problem was I thought I was a fashionista hairdresser and would give alot of them haircuts. When my mom would ask me why, I would explain that they didn’t want to be the same and didn’t this one look much cuter with a bob?

what do you plan on doing when you’re 80?

I would love to have lots of grandkids to play with and to be able to travel and chill at my beach house (I can dream can’t I?).

if you could assemble yr own ocean’s 11, who would you pick and why?

Tommy would be in the crew since he is my husband, speaks lots of languages, and is super friendly. He would disarm people with his chatter! Erica G. would be there to get things done and organized while we are all exhausted and sleeping. My older brother Samer would be there to be the financial wiz and rational one. Sarah would be there to supply us with cupcakes and brilliant plans. My friends Sonia and Natasha could be our fabulous legal team. My sisters would be there for moral support and to drive me crazy ;). Our officiant Elizabeth since she is a chef and we need yummy food. My nieces have to be there since no one can resist their cuteness!! What a crazy group!

selina, her sisters and those adorable (some might say LETHALLY ADORABLE) nieces.

what is yr best karaoke song?

My disclaimer is that I have a terrible voice and don’t sing much but I do enjoy karaoke. One of my favorites is “Lets Get Physical” by Olivia Newton John just because it’s so darn funny.

do people ever tell you that you look like someone famous? who?

I don’t get anyone consistently but I have gotten such random things as Natalie Portman, Claire Forlani, and Juliette Lewis (yuck!). I personally don’t think I look like any of them.

tell me something scandalous!

People who meet me now can’t believe that I used to love going to raves and would dance all night until 6am! Ok, so I also went to Foam Parties…call me crazy!

foam parties? well, ok. but RAVES? girl, you WERE crazy. then again, as evidenced by this picture, you’ve always been a little bit, uh, loony tunes.

thanks for being such a fabulous (and fascinating) interview subject, selina!

as always, readers, feel free to ask selina questions in the comments section.

LINKS

not only did selina allow me to interview her, she also sent me this amazing, stop motion animated film of “western” spaghetti. whimsical and fantastic!

vulture posted a HILARIOUS list of possible “spin-offs” based on characters from “hellboy 2″ (which, btw, is awesome and you NEED TO SEE IT). my vote goes for “welcome to camp, mr. wink!”

AAUUGHHH i just read about robert, the haunted doll. HEEBIE JEEBIES!!!!! DON’T TOUCH HIS HAT.

you guys, i’m not really a cat person but… i think i’m in love. with winston, who is feline but, as jezebel points out, not very, well, cat-like (friend winston, i still love you, too. but can you prance like this while sporting an amazing haircut? i’m sorry, but i doubt it). i mean OMGGG LOOK AT HIM IN A SANTA OUTFIT.

check out the awesome books becky’s students made at art camp (p.s. i wanna go to art camp!).

embrace the power of bubble wrap

Published by
Sarah
July 10, 2008 in (extra)ordinary. 8 Comments

today i read about a bubble wrap calendar that allows you to pop a plastic bubble for every day of the year.

suddenly, i was overwhelmed by all of the amazing ways bubble wrap would enhance my life, if only i could quit my job and become a Bubble Wrap Technologist.

THINK ABOUT IT.

bubble wrap keyboard

bubble wrap phone

bubble wrap ipod

bubble wrap doorbell (it pops AND makes a ding dong sound!!!!)

bubble wrap dishwasher

bubble wrap microwave

bubble wrap TV

bubble wrap light switches (WAY better than the clapper)

bubble wrap car radio

bubble wrap guitar

even better, bubble wrap guitar hero guitar!!!!

NO WAIT EVEN BETTER BUBBLE WRAP ROCK BAND DRUMSSSSSS

bubble wrap calculator (finally, math could be as fun as teachers claim)

bubble wrap ATM machine

bubble wrap PANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh MAN bubble wrap could so easily make the world a better place.

SCIENCE, WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR? I ASK YOU.

LINKS

has anyone seen an 80s movie called “reckless”? jancee dunn blogged about it and now i REALLY want to see it, based solely on aidan quinn’s incredible dance moves.

micael posted this amazing music video, featuring santogold, n.e.r.d. and julian casablancas (how did THAT happen?). needless to say, i want to be a paperdoll.

did you guys know there is now a “hard rock” amusement park? no, seriously. ROAD TRIP. but maybe we should give it a year, so they can incorporate some of carrie brownstein’s suggestions.

roberty downey, jr. = sherlock holmes = YES, my dear watson!

you guuuuyyyyys! david beckham is gonna be sesame street!!!!!! CUTENESS.

squee of the day: LOOK AT THIS LITTLE DOG! HE IS SLEEPING!!! I LOVE HIM.

the posh deluxe reading club, meeting #2

Published by
Sarah
July 9, 2008 in reading rainbow and this post will conform to no category!. 12 Comments

hallo, club members!

it’s time once again to gather together within the cozy walls of this blog, under the flickering lights of ye olde internet, and discuss what we’ve been reading!

in case you haven’t noticed, i’ve compiled a list from our first meeting and posted it under the “book club” tab, which you can see above. since the point of this club isn’t to read the same title but rather to provide future reading suggestions, i hope the list will be useful to everyone. in addition, Master of Technology matt is trying to figure out a way to make the book club page capable of multiple entries so that people can leave comments and actually even virtually discuss a book together. for now, it’s just a simple list but still a great reference tool for people looking for their next literary meal.

today, i’d like to recommend to you not one book but a series of books. all along, i’ve been planning to write a massive post about this series as soon as i finish (i’m halfway through the last book), but i realized today that it would be impossible to express just how amazing, how EPIC, this story is. and so, instead, i offer up this flimsy recommendation in the hopes that ka will cause yr life to intersect with a ragged but tough band of travelers in search of something called the dark tower.

and yes, ka is from the book, and no i won’t explain it.

(this picture is actually from the graphic novel series but i liked it so much, i had to use it).

before i can go any further, i must publicly thank meredith for recommending the dark tower series to me. it baffles me, now, that i could have spent my whole life ignorant of this literary masterpiece, and so i say thankee, sai, from the bottom of my heart.

stephen king wrote “the dark tower” series over a span of thirty-four years. through seven books, he tells the tale of a gunslinger named roland, who travels across worlds and through time in search of the dark tower, which is (and this is boiling it down to a v. basic, unpoetic level) the center of the universe. part western, part fantasy, the story is full of vivid characters, strange machines, terrifying creatures and fables from an ancient past. this is basically king’s “lord of the rings,” and it is (dare i say it) just as compelling and heartbreaking and inspiring as tolkien’s work and (i will say it) better written.

one of the other reasons i decided not to develop a juggernaut of a post about the series (even though it deserves that, and more) is because i don’t want to spoil a single page for any future readers, and therefore i can’t really summarize it or give you a detailed synopsis. but BELIEVE ME when i say that, if you step foot into this story, you will be lost forever to your former life, when you were ignorant of the Path of the Beam, when you had forgotten the face of your father.

when you hadn’t met roland of gilead, who has a tendency to change every life he comes across:

* * *

Roland of Gilead unfolded his hands and got slowly to his feet. He stood on what appeared to be nothing, legs apart, his right hand on his hip and his left on the sandalwood grip of his revolver. He stood as he had stood so many times before, in the dusty streets of a hundred forgotten towns, in a score of rock-lined canyon killing-zones, in unnumbered dark saloons with their smells of bitter beer and old fried meals. It was just another showdown in another empty street. That was all, and that was enough. It was khef, ka and ka-tet. That the showdown always came was the central fact of his life and the axle upon which his own ka revolved. That the battle would be fought with words instead of bullets this time made no difference; it would be a battle to the death, just the same. The stench of killing in the air was as clear and definite as the stench of exploded carrion in a swamp. then the battle-rage descended, as it always did… and he was no longer really there himself at all.

* * *

there aren’t enough pants in the world to let you know how highly i regard these books.

and so i will simply end this review with what i usually say, courtesy of kathleen kelly in “you’ve got mail”:

just read it. i KNOW you’ll love it.

and now, it’s yr turn!

LINKS

speaking of reading good books, jezebel asks: why don’t kids read about anne shirley in school?

check out this hilarious trailer for the “tropic thunder” mockumentary. “i just beat nature today.”

have you guys seen this pics from the sixth harry potter movie? GAH I CANNOT WAIT.

the onion gracefully captures bill clinton as he packs away his first lady dress.

attention twilight saga fans: have you seen the EW cover?!!!!!!

50 cent has a video game coming out (seriously) with the most awesome story line ever (seriously). still, i think ghostbusters will be better.